Sometimes life kicks your ass. You’re hopping from one appointment to the next, try to concentrate on an important project and get everything done properly while losing your inner calm, the control over your life and yourself.
That’s what was happening to me during the last few months.
I began to eat more, gained weight, wasn’t able to enjoy the moments with friends, family or boyfriend anymore. I was restless and I felt haunted. When my trousers began to tweak, I knew I had to change something. And because I’ve gained some weight, I thought I had to go on a diet. Since three months I’ve been trying to eat as healthy as possible and less than before. But there were these “relapses”, when I ate so much I thought I’d be bulging! I didn’t lose any of those kilos.
Combating against them brought me deeper in the carousel. I hustled from appointment to appointment while hitting the gym more often and longer than usual (to burn those nasty kilos off). I didn’t feel anything until I realized, I was at the point to collapse. Therefore I cancelled all my less important dates, I began to keep a food diary and scheduled some freetime to do whatever I wanted (walk my dog, watching tv series, write, meet friends or go window shopping). But even then I still couldn’t feel my inwards: I couldn’t tell, if I was hungry or thursty, if I was tired or not and what my needs were.
So I decided to hit the gym again today (I’ve just been there yesterday!) not for my usual cardio or muscle program, but for a class of yoga.
I never was into yoga. These strechings, the down-facing dog and this cobra – not mine! But whenever I did yoga in the past, I felt better afterwards. So I went to that class without any expectations.
After one hour and thirty minutes I felt relieved, free, alive.
My mom told me, when I came back: “You look suddenly well rested again.”
Does yoga do that to you?
My answer is: To some point – yes. What yoga does, is reminding you of your body. With these slow moves and the manner to breath you’re able to concentrate. It’s not the same as Pilates or running on the treadmill, where you’re kind of stressed out because of the pressure to perform. Yoga is anthropocentric! It’s all about you, your breathing, you’re flexibility. No pressure. Just feeling the flow.
During the yoga class I couldn’t think about any kind of problems of everydays life. My head was free, focused on the instructions and concentrated on my body. I was one of these lit up lotus floating in the water: calm, strong, glowing, reposing.
Three hours after the class, I rephrased the draft for my dissertation, read the literature for a second draft for another dissertation and wrote this article for you.
What I wanna tell you with that experience? We all struggle sometimes. We all have more than one problem to solve at the same time. We’re women. And we have goals and dreams and therefore pressure. But when you come to the point to collapse, you should take actions. Be open for everything, even yoga. Do whatever seems right to you. But do something.
I’m so glad, that I began to break the cycle. Because even in hard and rough times you should have the ability to enjoy the beautiful moments and precious things in life.